A Forward Vision from a Rear View Mirror

Many years ago, while on a cruise to the Bahamas with their father, my girls shopped at one of the ports of call. They purchased a handmade cross necklace from Jamaica. I was touched that they remembered that I used to collect crosses; I hadn’t thought about that “collection” in a long, long time.

The new necklace was a hefty piece, made of sterling silver. The cross itself was thick and shiny. The beads were arranged in a perfect pattern. It was a stunning piece. I had to be honest; I didn’t know if I was ever going to wear it.

What a dilemma! I didn’t want to hurt my daughters’ feelings. I knew for certain that the gift was so much more than just a thoughtful gesture. I came up with the perfect idea; I’d hang the cross with my other two crosses that hung from my rear view mirror in my car. They were not part of my well-known cross collection; these were air fresheners.

  A pastor of mine used to say, “You just know when you know!” I never understood that statement until the very moment that I twisted the ends of that necklace together in order to hang it with the other crosses already hanging from the mirror.  It was a revelation of colossal proportions. 

The black cross has a heart in the
middle. That represents the Father
because He is love. 

The wooden one creates an image
of Jesus in my mind. He willingly
died on a cross for our sins. 

This new, shiny, sterling silver cross
portrays the Holy Spirit.

Once we accept God’s salvation, it is through the precious but costly gift from Jesus that we receive the Holy Spirit. This is given to us by grace and mercy not because we deserve it. We become more polished; our finest versions of ourselves.

So now, when I jump into my car,
I am constantly reminded of the trinity.

I look forward to each new day. My future is bright and secure. I thanked my girls for the special present that reminds me of His constant presence.

R.I.P. Murphy-Part 2

I had originally been so positive that God wouldn't give me this cup of suffering on top of all that I had already been going through.  My faith was shaken; I had been so sure that I wouldn't lose my beloved pet.

 “Ask what you are supposed to learn from the hard knocks in life; don’t ask why they are happening.” I've heard that saying so many times.

So, it’s my turn to ask “What am I to begin to understand from the end of Murphy’s life?” The Lord is so patient with me. He’s revealed many things and He keeps helping me think of more. I may not fully understand right this moment, but I trust God with all of my heart. There is a purpose and a plan for this pain. If Jesus willingly died for me, then surely now he will provide for me.

Here are some of the lessons that I’ve learned from this latest and most difficult trial. I’m so thankful that He loves me enough to change me into someone who is better; more Christ like…

• I learned to let go and let God no matter the cost. 
• He commands us to love others more than ourselves. I wasn't selfish. I didn't hold on for my sake; I let go for Murph’s sake.
• I became more fully aware of the Lord’s constant presence. He gave me amazing strength through all of this. 

The last thought seems to be the most logical lesson of all.  Telling my story might encourage someone else that God’s love and provision are available to us always and in all ways.  The Lord put a vision on my heart a long time ago. I anchor on it often because, in my opinion, it’s an authentic look at who Jesus really is. His heart breaks as He waits for the lost, hurting, and dying to come to know Him so that they can be saved. In my mind’s eye, it is Jesus who pleads with the Father to wait just a little longer for His return. Jesus wants no one left behind.

In the vision that God has given me, Jesus is standing at the open gate of a corral. He holds a little lamb in his arms. His eyes are scanning the area outside the safety of the enclosure. Worry and concern wash over His face. He calls out for the other sheep to come into His protected place of rest. He doesn't want to close the gate until all of His sheep are with Him. 

John 10:16
Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)

16 I have other sheep too. They are not in this flock here. I must lead them also. They will listen to my voice. In the future there will be one flock and one shepherd.

These days…in the vision…my Murphy is the precious little lamb that He holds. In fact, heartfelt messages from the Holy Spirit indicate that Jesus has to put forth a little effort to catch him :) My handsome little boy is filled with endless energy now. He’s extremely busy chasing butterflies, romping through fields of beautiful grace, and drinking from cool streams of living water. No more pain, suffering, or tears in Heaven! That’s the vision I love to embrace.

Revelation 21:4
New Living Translation (NLT)  

4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”

I humbly submit to God’s authority and accept that He is sovereign over all. I’ll be honest…I need time to walk confidently across the water of this storm, but I will be more than okay if I keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. He is so patient, loving, kind, and supportive. I will defy the odds to bring Him the glory and honor that only He deserves. If my story has the potential to make a difference in someone's life for the Kingdom's sake, then this will truly be a blessed new year!

You loved to take naps!  

My beautiful boy and dearest friend, 

I'm at peace that you can rest easily now.  

I love you so much and I'll see you in paradise!

All Bible Verses are from www.biblegateway.com

R.I.P. Murphy-Part 1

“But others have lost so much more...he was just a dog!” Sometimes, as I struggle through this process, I find that I’m condemning myself for being such a baby. The Lord is quick to console me and help me conquer those thoughts that I wrestle with. He reminds me that He sees our hurt no matter its source. He holds our every tear and he calms our every fear.


Murphy was indeed a gift from God. This fact is best proven when I recall the day my mom and I took the girls to pick him out. A swarm of puppies scurried all around us. During my younger years, I had two completely white dogs. I kept picking up these cute little tri-colored Lhasa-Maltese babies and asking my daughters, “What about this one?” After several attempts, I gave up. Cradled in the arms of my two little angels, was the snow white bundle of fur that God had predestined to be our dog. What were the odds that they would both decide on the same one? He certainly was not just a dog!

He's the one standing up in the back left side of the basket. 

The picture below was a recent picture of him.

Trials have been so rampant in my life the last half of 2013. It is written in the Bible that struggles reform us and make us more Christ like. Scripture even instructs us to count it all joy when you face them. It’s taken me many years, but I get that now. I was seeing the “BLESSONS” that were being learned and even thanking God for loving me enough to change me for the better.

So…

• I thought that I was a more mature Christian now.
• I thought that I had refined my belief and strengthened my faith.
• I was sure I could pray this little guy back to good health.
• I laid hands on him…I quoted scripture…I asked the Holy Spirit to intercede on my behalf if I left anything out.

God had different plans.

On Wednesday, December 11, 2013 at around 10:29 p.m., I contacted the first loved ones with a text to tell them that Murphy was playing with the angels now. Oh the irony of the time, 10:29. A sure sign from God just as I explained in one of my earlier blog posts, I Was Born for This. A wave of peace washed over me and I thanked the Lord for being with me always.

I’ll never be able to fully explain the wave of peace and simultaneous strength that rose up from deep within my soul earlier that evening. I was trying to figure out what to do and the next thing I knew, I was getting dressed and warming up my car. Never, in a million years, would I have envisioned a solo trip to the vet to put down my beloved Murph. The Holy Spirit took over that night. No doubt about it! I thank God that He put me into an autopilot like mode so that what needed to be done could in fact be done.

Again, by the grace of God, I never cried while it happened. I looked deep into his eyes and said, “I’m so sorry, I love you, and I’ll see you on the other side.” This night was the first night he had not been responding to the pain meds. His body had been so stiff, but this was peaceful. It was like a huge, long awaited exhale. He slowly collapsed into my arms and we parted ways until we can be together again throughout eternity in paradise.

I can’t understand for sure what God wants me to learn from this, but I trust Him because I know for certain that He was with us through this whole ordeal. After leaving the Pet Hospital on Tuesday, December 10th, I was praying and asking God what to do. Murphy was looking at me from the passenger seat. As I rounded the corner from Rose Street to head south onto Northland Drive, I saw something that settled my soul and gave me steadfast assurance of God’s presence. I’ve lived in this community for a long time and I had never noticed that building before. As the last words of my request to the Lord left my lips, the address plate hanging above the door caught my eye. I thanked God for being with us always through the tears that were streaming down my face.

A Baby's Blessing

A few days ago we celebrated the birth of a baby who would transform our lives. As we gave gifts, I hope we kept at the forefront of our minds the most precious gift that we will ever receive. I can’t imagine being a part of the events that unfolded so long ago. When I really want to think back to the magnitude of that special time, I like to listen to these two songs...

Mary Did You Know? I've never heard this version by CeeLo Green. I love it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NF5PFfPa-kM

A Baby Changes Everything by Faith Hill

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7D-DH9aT3bs

There is nothing more precious than the birth of a new baby. Last summer, God gave me such a deep desire to pray for new little lives that are born unto us. The urge to write a specific prayer was conceived from a new-found understanding of a very popular bible verse.

Proverbs 22:6 instructs us to, “Train a child up in the way they should go and they will not depart from it.” My understanding of this verse seemed adequate enough in my earliest years as a Christian. I thought it had something to do with disciplining children; if we teach them to behave when they are young, they will grow up to conduct themselves well.

As I matured in my faith, I thought that the verse implied the importance of immersing our children in the knowledge that Jesus is real so that they would always seek to serve and honor Him. The latter view is closer to what I interpret that verse to mean these days but my perception of it has been fine tuned and sharpened since I read, Cure for the Common Life: Living in Your Sweet Spot by Max Lucado. Never before, has the content of a book penetrated my innermost thoughts the way that one does.

I found this version of the that famous bible verse at http://www.biblegateway.com/ and it clarifies my thinking even more...

Proverbs 22:6  Amplified Bible (AMP)
6 Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Six new little lives, and many others I’m sure, have blessed people in my hometown since August of this year. These are the families I know and love: Ross & Alison: Luke & Harper, Caleb & Ashley: Elaina, Matt & Amber: Gavin, Jake & Karen: Stella, and Dan & Michelle: McKinley. I dedicate this post to these families, but I speak forth this prayer in honor of all babies uniquely created by the grace of our Father.

A Baby’s Blessing

Heavenly Father, I thank for new little lives.

All babies are hand created and hand selected by You to serve a divine purpose here on this earth.

You form each and every child with certain unique gifts.

I pray that the caregivers will be keen observers of these emerging lives. Adults need to take note of each child’s “gifts” so that they can be nurtured towards their individual bent.

This would allow the child to grow and mature into their “sweet spot”; the place where our God given interests, abilities, and talents intersect. Our sweet spot...there’s no better place to dwell during our brief existence here.

First, it brings glory and honor to You, Father.

Second, it leads the lost, hurting, and dying to You so that they can be saved.

Finally, there is no greater joy for us than to be fulfilling Your will for our lives.

I am expecting, believing, and speaking forth an abundance of peace, protection, provision, and prosperity for these children, according to Your riches and glory, not what we think we know as valuable in this world. Your provision is so much greater than what we could ever ask, hope, or pray for. Let Your favor surround them and their parents like a shield.

In the name of Jesus, I thank you Father that You’ve heard this prayer.

I Was Born for This

Today is my birthday.  My gift to me is to be myself.  To receive fully who I am and who I was created to be.  

 

Do you believe in the divinity?  Do you desire your destiny?  Well then, please read on and let me encourage you with the story of my rebirth on this day of my actual birth. 

In the late spring of 2012, the Lord began placing the numbers 10/29 in my path several times a day.  It was unbelievable and at the same time undeniable.  Have you ever had that happen?  I had a pastor who said, “You just know, when you know that you know.”  This always confused me until I actually experienced it.  I just knew that it was God sending me these signs.  There was something he wanted me to get from this.  Of course, I took notice right away since it was my birth date, but there seemed to be more than that.  

 

There are too many little happenings for me to mention them all, but I can honestly say that each and every appearance of 10/29 produced a sincere smile on my face.  I actually saw the number 29 more often than the two numbers together.  It happened many times a day.  

My first real confirmation with this numerical phenomenon happened when I was telling a friend of mine about the number combo popping up all over the place. She commented that she too thought it was wild that this was happening.  She went on to tell me that she felt as if the Holy Spirit had brought a certain young man to her mind.  I’d told her about him a few years back.  My oldest daughter spent a semester in Africa, and one of the various people who were so helpful to her was Eugene.  I spoke with him on the phone shortly after she arrived there.  It didn't dawn on me at first when my friend brought up his name.  She said she thought maybe I should get in touch with him.  A few seconds later I grabbed her arm and with wide eyes exclaimed, “He and I share the same birthday!”  I contacted him, and we had a nice chat.  That in itself was more than enough for me to understand that I was not imagining this. God had different plans.

I work for a school district.  Last spring, in the midst of so many other personal hardships I was facing, I received a pink slip.  I was being laid off.  I hesitated to share this story because some, who read this, will know where I work.  I decided that the benefits of sharing this far outweighed the risks if there were any risks at all.  You see, I hold nothing against anyone.  As a child of God,  I am called to submit to authority figures in my life.  I have great compassion for those who have to make such grueling decisions that will affect the lives of those that they know so well.  Less money means cuts have to be made.  It is as simple as that.  I've always loved this community and the people that live here.  That will never change.

In addition, I accept fully that nothing comes to me except through the Father.  Even though I cannot see how my life will play out; I believe with all of my heart that He knows what is best for me.  His will for my life matters more than anything.  I love Him for caring enough to change me from the inside out.  That being said, submitting to this pink slip plan was no piece of cake.  Rather it was like a huge slice of humble pie. I think He wanted me to look into some dreams that I've had sitting on a shelf for some time now.  

Just days after receiving my pink slip, my colleague and I played a “listen and follow the directions” game with our students.  Each numbered card had a set of directions on it.  The students had to listen carefully because at the end of each card was a set of directions for what was to happen next.  The goal was to run through all the cards without talking and to complete all the tasks as quickly as possible. 

My mind was still reeling from the aftershock of losing my position, so Darcy was kind enough to run the game.  I was sitting at my computer typing up a quiz that we were going to use the next day in class.  I was in a bit of a fog, but I was doing my best to complete the task at hand. 

I suddenly realized that Darcy was sort of scolding the students because one of the handmade pieces had been damaged.  A great friend and former colleague of Darcy’s had made this game, and so of course it was of extreme sentimental value to her.  I chimed in with my disappointment that we would ruin such a momentous thing.  This is a picture of the game…

Almost instinctively, a feeling of certainty rose up from deep within me.  I started calling to Darcy, “What number is missing?  What number got damaged?”  I had known it before she answered.  It was #29.  This is what it said…

Jesus calls us His saints and His disciples.  The moment I found out I was losing my position, everything I had ever been was in jeopardy.  My name and my identity felt as though it was being thrashed through the public eye and scrutinized by all.  Earlier, I wrote that according to His Word I am to bow to authority.  His is the greatest authority of all and bow I will.  He’s got this.  I was born for this.  I was born to share my stories so that I might offer encouragement to someone else.  I'm back to work in the same district and the dream is no longer on the shelf.  I've wanted to start a blog for a long time.

Bad things happen in this life.  Hard, hurtful, debilitating things happen, but He is in control.  He promises to hold our every tear in His hand.  He promises light after the darkness subsides.  Darcy’s house burned down a few weeks ago, and her beloved dog was inside.  She lost so many special memories and other important material things along with her good friend, Zoey.  I dedicate this post to her.  I pray that the peace of God, which surpasses all human comprehension, will sustain her until she and Zoey can be together again in paradise throughout eternity.