A Timely Gift

My heart races.  My fingers strike out a lightning fast rhythm on the keyboard.  My eyes are bright and intensely scanning the screen to reread what has been created. I’m smiling from ear to ear.  You’d never guess it is 4:30 a.m.

That’s how intense I felt when I discovered a new truth about myself…I loved to write.  I couldn’t contain the excitement.  That was a few years back.  I’m not sure how life got too busy to do something that I loved so much.  The very thing that gave my existence so much purpose and energy got put on a back burner.  The flame was shut off and the passion was no longer fueled.  This day I have promised myself that I will take back this joy.  I write because I feel “called” to write.  Up until about four years ago, I wouldn’t have considered myself a writer at all. 

That changed for me on December 8, 2009. On that date, exactly one month after my relationship with my fiancé had ended, I wrote the first of many e-mail messages that I sent out to a large group of people.  Without a doubt, I considered this a divine intervention.  How could something so fulfilling come to life in the wake of such personal devastation?  The fact that the topics were religious in nature and that they came to me almost faster than I could deal with them might be evidence enough but let me provide a bit more proof.  Along with a lack of any former ability to write, I also carried around very little knowledge about technology.  Sure, I knew the basics but those skills were sketchy to say the least.  So, there I was, doing things I didn’t know I was capable of.  I’d never looked into how to make a distribution group; yet there I was slamming one together.  “He” affectionately labeled the list of contacts, “God’s Group.”  I was even strategically placing YouTube links within the messages.    

On that night in December, several novel ideas were racing to the forefront of my consciousness.  I was led to start sending out inspirational and encouraging e-mails to the selected group of people.  Explicit assortments of music were to be included to deepen the intent of the supplied messages.  I say “supplied” because that’s exactly what happened.  I was involved in a partnership.  I complied with the request to sit down at the keyboard and He composed the writing through me.  I don’t mean to insinuate that I heard an audible voice of God.  That wasn’t the case.  What I was supposed to write came from deep within my heart. 

Sometimes I tried to put too much of me into a piece of writing and it humbled me when I realized that He wouldn’t let that happen.  The typing seemed fumbled and slower.  The words didn’t come to mind or flow onto the page at the same high rate of speed.  My computer froze and sometimes I completely lost parts that I had written.  I knew He had undoubtedly drawn a line when I was unable to successfully push send. 

Writing His messages was honestly the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done.  Maybe that’s because it is His purpose for my life.  The last time I wrote a “God’s Group” message was June 9, 2010. I’ve continued to write but I don’t share my writing very often. The absence of sharing my writing has left a gaping hole in my soul.  I recently learned how to blog so I’m anxious to start again.  I’ll never consider myself capable but I’ve learned to trust, to be willing, and to be so very thankful for this timely gift. 

Ephesians 3:7-8
The Message Bible

This is my life work: helping people understand and respond to this Message. It came as a sheer gift to me, a real surprise, God handling all the details. When it came to presenting the Message to people who had no background in God's way, I was the least qualified of any of the available Christians. God saw to it that I was equipped, but you can be sure that it had nothing to do with my natural abilities.

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